I pretty much hate my job. There are times when it is rewarding but for the most part, the people I deal with on a day-to-day basis are complete morons. I will randomly detail some of my dealings with the general public. Warning: These will tend to be vulgar.
I seriously have these conversations 100 times a week:
Customer: “I would like to upgrade my phone.”
Me: “Okay, great, let’s take a look at your account. What is your phone number?”
Customer: “I don’t know! I don’t call myself! HAHAHAHAAHAHA”
The customer then laughs for 30 seconds like that was the funniest fucking thing they’ve ever said. It’s not funny. You should know your god damn phone number. You know your home number don’t you? How do you give your friends and family your number? If you don’t know your number, no one can call you. Memorize your cell phone number you lazy, idiotic fuck.
Me: “Welcome to Verizon Wireless, what can I do for you today?”
Customer: “I’m having problems with my cell phone.”
Me: “What seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “I don’t have any signal in my home. All those network people don’t know the way to my house!”
“You know that Can You Hear Me Now? commercial? Well, no one can hear me now!”
Well, I give them credit for remembering which commercials belong to which cellular companies especially since they can’t remember their own phone number. It is also clever to throw our own marketing in our faces. However, do you really think no one has ever said that crap to me? Be creative.
Customer:“When are you and Alltel merging?”
Me: “Well, we’re not merging – we bought them out – but it won’t be for a little while. We are still very much competitors”
Customer: “Oh, well what’s gonna happen to Chad?”
Me: “He’s going to be unemployed.”
So, the reason you asked me about our purchase of Alltel was just to ask me about the fate of a fictional character you’ve seen on TV? Seriously? Why do I even bother trying to intelligently respond to these people?