It’s something many of us strive for in our dealings with a potential, current, or former love. Most people want to be in control and have some form of power over the other person. This isn’t as malicious at it may sound – its just human nature. We want to be the one who controls each situation. I may have gained the Upperhand back with the Ex.
Clearly, she has been in control. She’s the one hanging out with Weasel McDouchebag, making new friends, and seeming so happy. I had taken the sadder approach. I was remaining somewhat antisocial and just being introspective.
Something changed over Christmas/New Year’s and I do not know what exactly. Being with my family and seeing some of my old friends revitalized me and I wasn”t as emo about the whole situation. However, I noticed she was calling/texting me more frequently than in the recent past. It wasn’t overwhelming or anything, just a noticeable difference.
It started on Friday. I had the day off and called her to let her know a couple things about the dog (since she was keeping her for the weekend). I made sure it was a quick conversation – got to the point and then said I was on my way out the door. She got really silent and after some coaxing, she admitted she was bummed out because she missed me (not in the dating sense, just seeing me/being friends/etc). She started to cry a little. I took on the role of strong male (I do it so well) and calmed her down.
Then Saturday night rolls around…
I had to work Sunday morning, so I had a low key night of watching football and ordering food with CF. (Side note – we had a really good time watching football and talking about a wide range of topics – gossip, religion, family, exes, etc.) CF had retired to her nearby apartment around 12:30 and soon after I went to bed.
I was woken up around 3am to my phone ringing. I answer and it’s a drunk The Ex babbling about who knows what. Once she realized I was asleep and had to work, she apologized and hung up.
The next morning I find three texts, two voicemails and three missed calls from her. Yikes.
Nothing too juicy. She mentioned she missed me, hated some of the people she was hanging out with, wants to hang out on Sunday when she drops off the dog, and then accidentally let the “I love you” slip out at the end.
I text her Sunday to inform her of her drunkeness. She apologizes and said she wasn’t sure what was wrong with her. She says she’ll make me some dinner and bring it with her when she brings the puppy back. I decide I can’t pass up a free meal. Sure enough, after work, she arrives with food and puppy and we hang out for a little.
We discuss the phone calls and I somewhat jokingly say, “You were clearly calling for a booty call. How cute, our first drunken post breakup booty call. I’m surprised you did it before me.”
She sheepishly says that may have been the case.
That my friends, is how you get the upperhand back.
I have absolutely no intentions on using the Upperhand for anything other than my current gloating, but it is good to know I have it back.