I want a thing.
I want to be awesome at something.
I want to be so awesome at that something, that people think of me when they think of that something.
Hell, I’d settle for being better than most people at something.
I tend to get these little obsessions with things, well really, I just get obsessions about the IDEA of things. Something will spark my imagination and I’ll just have to have that something. I will eventually get that something and after a few failed attempts, I will give up or move on to my next obsession.
Some people would call this lazy (and yes, part of it is laziness), but I like to call it insatiable-ness. My thirst for learning and life can not be quenched!
That or I’m ADD…you be the judge.
It started when I was a kid. Football was my obsession. Unsurprisingly, this did not pan out. I was not blessed with what one might call “muscles” or “God-given ability.”
When it became clear that girls liked poems and things written about them, I moved on to writing. In high school and parts of college I liked to believe I was great writer. After rereading some older journal entries and some poems, I now realize this was incredibly false.
I used to work for my college’s radio station and I actually believe I did a pretty good job at that. I would do some music shows, but mostly I did commentary for football and basketball games. I LOVED doing this. Sadly, I will probably never do this professionally. Part of me wants to just find a college radio station in the area, get my own show and just have fun with it. I still may do this someday. In the meantime I can’t really just take it up as a hobby. People tend to get pissed when you do play-by-play in the stands.
Last Christmas the obsession was a skateboard. I never thought I was going to be great at it, but I just wanted to be good enough to ride it around a little. I’ve been on the board maybe 5 times. All of these times have been fun, but I never fell in love with it. It just never “grabbed a hold of me.” It’s a neat, funny activity but that’s about it. My skateboard now sits on my porch.
I then wanted to learn a new language. Spanish made sense since I took in in high school. I realized going to school or buying the Rosetta Stone was way too expensive so I settled on illegally downloading the Rosetta Stone software. Upon discovering the files were in some weird format that I didn’t understand how to convert to anything relevant to me, I decided Spanish was not for me anymore.
Next up – maybe I’ll get into shape! I could be hot, in-shape guy! I bought the Iron Gym and some sweet Nike+ shoes. If anyone has seen me in person lately, you know that I epically failed at this as well.
My latest obsession is with the acoustic guitar. This delusion of grandeur hasn’t taunted me since early in college. This appears to be my next failed mission.
I’m glad I’m trying a bunch of random things and there are other things I would like to at least try someday, but I just wish something would stick. I like being able to at least relate to most other people’s activities/jobs/passions on a layman’s level, but I wish I had my own thing.