I am a waste of the flesh on my bones, I am a waste of the air in my lungs.

We’ll start happy:

1. Three of my CT friends are visiting this week and the All-American will be here this weekend. We are sure to have some great times around the Lowcountry.

2. Last night we went to Mellow Mushroom and then hung at K&M’s condo for some card games and drinks. I had a great time with everyone and look forward to more hangouts as the week goes on.

3. Walking on King Street (where the Mushroom is located in downtown Charleston) on a warm night is one of the greatest things in the world.

Bad things:

1. Didn’t get to go to the beach today because I had to take the pup to the vet. I’ll spare the details, but she should be okay. She needs a couple more appointments and some meds and she should be good to go. It is going to cost a lot, but that’s part of the deal when adopting a dog.

2. My recent visit to Charlotte and conversations with my CT friends has left me kinda bummed out this week. They don’t mean to, but when I’m around them I sometimes feel like a complete failure. As we were sitting around at Mellow Mushroom discussing work and things, I looked around the table and realized everyone there had their dream job, or at worst, a job they enjoyed. They all make pretty good money and everything seems to be going well with them. I’m incredibly happy for them, but it makes me reflect on my own situations.

This coupled with another incident that occurred this week has pretty much shot my self-esteem. I was making progress in that department but this week has done a number on me. I use to have a lot of confidence in myself (even if some of it was false), but it seems I continue to lose it as time goes on.

3. My Aunt has been fighting breast cancer for a few years now and honestly I don’t know how she is doing it. No matter how bad it gets, she keeps fighting through it. I don’t know if I could be that brave.

She has been getting weaker lately and the doctor said her chemo isn’t working anymore. She was given the option of stopping treatment or trying another form they haven’t used yet. Thankfully, she chose the latter. It doesn’t look good, but we’re not giving up hope.

7 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

7 responses to “I am a waste of the flesh on my bones, I am a waste of the air in my lungs.

  1. heavensenthellbent

    Hooray for good news. Friends are awesome. I’m still searching for a time to get down there. I gotta find out 2 things well 3 actually. When summer school ends, when fall semester begins and when high school soccer starts. I’m thinking that I can fit in a trip down there in between the one summer and two fall things.

    Bad things:
    1. I hope she does ok, I want a puppy so bad. I’m not allowed to have pets where I currently live, so I can’t wait to get out of there so I can get one.

    2. I feel the same way that you do. So I completely understand what you are saying. I love our group of friends but sometimes I feel so shitty (about myself) when I look at them. I think the only thing that I can do is just stay focused on myself and getting into a situation where I can be happy. Thats what you should do too, focus on what you want (get rich quick!!) and stay positive.

  2. Your aunt is in my thoughts. It takes an immeasurable strength to do what she’s doing.

    As for your life, I’ve learned to make something happen when I’m not content with what’s going on. So. Make something happen. Be a yes man. Go for it.

    A job you enjoy will come. It will!

  3. meaninglessmetaphors

    If it makes you feel any better, my job makes me want to put an electric screwdriver to my temple right now. Not so much my dream job…

    I’m sorry to hear about your aunt’s situation, but it sounds like she has the best attitude one can have and that makes a huge difference. I’ll be thinking of her.

    Self esteem is a really hard thing to work on, mostly because so many things that affect it are out of your control. All I can say is that your life will change when you least expect it. But I agree with Jordan, do something. Even if it’s just going somewhere new to hang out rather than the Mushroom or exploring a new area of the lowcountry. Make your own excitement. Or..come to CT? ❤

  4. PiC – Thanks for the advice, I will try to do what you suggested.

    Jordan – Thanks for the kind words and advice, I appreciate it.

    MM – Thanks to you as well! I’ve been trying to explore new things…in fact I did explore CT but you were too cool to see me

  5. Oooooh I hope the pup’s okay!!

  6. Christina – Thank you, she is doing better!

  7. I wanna see the All America Rejects somewhere 😦 hope they come to Albany or Troy or “elsewhere” 😛
    I’m sorry about Maggie and about your aunt…I really hope she gets better.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s