I have been in a huge funk since Christmas. This was second (out of three since I’ve moved) Christmas that I could not make it home to see my family. I was already pretty bummed out about that, but as the day went on, my mood worsened.
My parents and brother called me in the morning so we could open our presents to each other “together,” which I know is a little dorky, but I don’t care, so shut up. Jerks.
The rest of my day was spent watching TV, playing with the dog, and playing video games. Normally, this would be an incredible day off from work, but I really wanted to be around people – especially my family. Between missing my family and having my job own my ass during the holidays, I was pretty damn emo.
Even though Christmas was days ago, my attitude really hasn’t improved. I’ve been thinking a lot about growing up, the next step in my life (which I’ve been struggling to take), and just what’s going on in my little bubble of a life.
I watched a DVD on Christmas day that really hit home. My parents got me a DVD called “Somebody’s Gonna Miss Us” – it’s a documentary about a pop-punk band called The Starting Line. The band decided to call it quits after 8 years together.
Now, I know what you are thinking: What the Hell does that DVD have to do with your life?
Well, I’ve always felt I could relate to the band. Their music was a big part of my life during my first 2-3 years in college, plus the guys in the band are all about my age. After having some modest success during my college years, the band slowly started to disappear.
It was sad to see them all talking about the end of the band and not having an idea what was next. You always assume people in bands have it completely made, but guys in these smaller bands are closer to you and me than actual rock stars. They may have seen a glimpse of “the life,” but when it’s all said and done they need to get real jobs and go back to reality.
Seeing a band I cared about so much in that light, added to my mood. It was depressing to see. It was another reminder about how hard it is to do what you love in life. Even if you get a chance, it’s no guarantee to last.
A lot of things the guys talked about in the documentary reminded me of things in my own life. It’s just been weighing on me a lot more than I thought it would.
I know that’s kinda lame and I should just suck it up and get over it, but I’m just having a hard time shaking this mood.