My Own Worst Enemy

I’ve done everything in my power to resist it, but the signs are everywhere.

Somehow, someway, against all odds, I am growing up.

I just got a little dizzy typing those unholy four words.

I am in no way mature, but the changes from just a few short years ago are quite striking.

If 22-year-old me saw what he’d become at the age of 26 he’d probably try to kill himself. Well, first he would roll back over and sleep off his hangover until 3 pm, think about ending it all after seeing such a bleak future, decide that would require way too much work, play some video games instead, go party with friends and convince himself he is way too awesome to ever turn out so super lame.


22: tight, vintage t-shirt picked up at the Salvation Army (the more obscure, the better), hemp necklace, jeans, studded belt, baseball cap. Would not be caught dead in preppy-like clothing
26: Something from American Eagle

22: For the summer job – old T-shirts and shorts. For radio/TV – long sleeve shirt and khakis
26: Shirt and tie

22: Constricting and lame
26: Classy and awesome

22: If not covered by a hat, I would attempt to spike my hair or attempt fun things like a mohawk. I would go from the extreme of quite shaggy to a close buzzcut randomly
26: Relatively short, rarely styled and definitely not adventurous

22: Constantly growing it out and loves the shaggy feel
26: Shave 1-2 times a week

22: Summer job that paid for beer during the school year and on-campus jobs with student-run radio, TV, and newspaper groups. Dreams of working in the media field and swears he could care less what he makes, as long as he’s happy.
26: Entering fourth year of “temporary” job that has nothing to do with my major. It’s pretty good pay, but I have no love for what I do.

22: Party as many nights as possible. The more people, the better. Loved playing beer pong and various other games. Would drink well into the morning on numerous occasions.
26: Party once-a-week (maybe). I prefer small, quieter settings with friends. Get tired by 2 am. Never play drinking games anymore.

22: Nonexistent
26: Sometimes lasting two days

26: Yes, sir!

22: Tastes varied, but was a huge fan of punk (and related) music. I was always scouring the web for new, underground bands. Music was always downloaded illegally
26: Taste is still varied, but I am hopelessly out of the loop. Almost always buy music.

22: A great group of rowdy guys who were always looking to cause trouble
26: My dog

22: San Diego, New Orleans, Tampa
26: Work, Connecticut

22: Beer, concerts
26: Savings, but occasionally an unnecessary purchase.

22: Zero.
26: More than zero

As you can see there a few instances where my inner 22-year-old still manages to shine through. I just hope he doesn’t continue to disappear


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15 responses to “My Own Worst Enemy

  1. I don’t think changing the way you dress and getting tired a little bit earlier are signs of becoming less awesome. Honestly, 26-year old Christian has a lot more to offer to the world in terms of maturity and insight than 22-year old Chrisitan, who (per your description) was holding on to his high school years like it was the last thing he’d ever have.

    You still rock man. A huge part of the reason why I’m planning a SECOND trip to the dirty. And as for you’re best friends. Um, hey, we’re still here bud, and we have nothin but love for you!

    Upon rereading this, it my sound a little questionable…and gay. But not questionably gay? Anyways, rock on brother. Do your thing.

  2. Yes! I know exactly what you mean. I thought this very thing the other day: “When did I get old?” I’m especially with you on the hangover thing. How did that happen?! I used to be able to party hard into the early morning hours. Now, I have two glasses of wine at my parent’s place and I can barely make it out of bed the next morning.

    In a month and a half-ish, I’m turning 27…it’s all downhill from here. (That’s only sort of a joke.)

  3. It doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. Just growing up. Charleston could be pretty dangerous if you were still like your 22 year old self. I should know because I’m still like that and constantly getting myself into trouble.

  4. Taz – I appreciate that. You are definitely right. I like this current version of myself a whole lot more. I just hate the idea of growing up.

    Jess – I’ll be 27 in Feb and I’m already dreading it

    CitC – Good point. I’m fairly certain I would have woken up in the market numerous times.

  5. Psh…

    1. I like AE.
    2. Ties are sexy.
    3. Classy ties are even sexier.
    4. Short is better.
    5. Scruff hurts when brushed upon skin. Big no. Sexy? Sometimes. Shaved? Much better.
    6. Temporary job is much better. I mean, that means that you could move here and hang out with cool people like me and be able to be transferred to somewhere else. Like… here. C’mon now. How can you resist?
    7. Ditto. And I get drunk faster, eff.
    8. …can’t help ya there, same with me.
    9. Well, they’re intimidating!
    10. I’m the same way.
    11. Ugh, I’m the same way. Let’s get the dogs together for a playdate. And us. That might be fun.
    12. I’ve gone into SF maybe twice in the last 6 months, and LA once. This is not good, seeing as how the only other place I’ve been is… at the house, or in WA for holiday.
    13. Mine are always unnecessary purchases, and some in savings. But then out of savings for unnecessary purchases. Damnit.
    14. Hmm… I dye my hair blonde every month so that I don’t have to find that out.


  6. Hahaha trying to get me to the Left Coast much?
    I’m glad to see that someone has crazy as you (according to your old blog) has her “growing up” moments too.
    As far as the dogs getting together, well my dog doesn’t travel well…and she hates other dogs…so yea…

  7. Maybe… what’s it to ya? You were just saying you haven’t traveled much lately. Here’s your chance, buddy.

    Crazy girls have to realize their purpose in life eventually. And I still haven’t figured mine out for sure.

    Your dog sucks. She’s cute, but she needs to hang out with my dog since he’s super cool, and they look alike.

  8. vixations

    Oh YOU!! As a 23-year-old, your 26-year-old self is totally freaking me out. Is that what I’m doomed to be?? My 23-year-old female self is not quite the same as your 22-year-old male self, but we’re not that far off (minus the facial hair and the ties). It sounds like you’re going to have to make a concerted effort to keep 22-year-old you alive. Maybe bring your dog to the bar? Get someone like me to send you awesome free music? I dunno, man, but I wish you luck!

  9. vixations – Not every is doomed to grow up in the manner in which I have, but rest assured you will grow up in some fashion. Here’s hoping you don’t grow up too fast and/or too drastically. I’ve tried the dog to the bar thing and apparently people frown on that..especially when you fill her dog bowl up with beer.

  10. liz

    Ohhh my dear. I can totally understand how you feel, and I’m only 24!!! I come home from work and want to sleep, and it’s rare if I go anywhere during the week.

    Enough whining about me, I want to talk about you. You seem to think that all these things about your 26 year old self are “bad”. I disagree.

    1. Your job. Yes, you hate it and it’s not something you are passionate about. However, this somewhat apathy makes it easier for you to take time off and travel…and since you said that you don’t spend any money, save up another year’s worth of passionless pay and then get out there for a shitty job that you love!! Then you will be finanically alright if the pay if awful. I don’t see how you can’t win from that situation. Or maybe you could do another job on the side and make a slower transition.

    I like the preppy Christian. I dislike wearing heels every day but meh, I have to. I’m sure ties are not as bad 😛

    I think how you feel is totally normal and I’m hopeful that you will get through this time of your life and be happy about it later. If not, you could always come back to CT!!! :o)

    I’m going to try to post on my blog again too.

  11. Liz – For the advice and kind words. And you definitely need to start writing again! First journal should be about the passive voice because I still don’t get it. And I disagree about moving back to CT. You all should move down here!

  12. vixations

    Ahhh, I should have known you were from CT. Me too!!

  13. vixations – Oh, yea? Nice! Do you have a blog too?

  14. vixations

    Yes… but let me be clear that it’s not safe for work…

  15. Why, that’s my favorite kind of website!

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